Is romance alive and kicking? Elaine & Francesca give their take on it.
“Their eyes lock and she swiftly looks away.”
“Her body tingles at his touch.”
These are typical words from romance novels describing the first flourish of desire and love. What if you’re in a long-term relationship? What if you have children, does love and romance get lost as life takes over? How does the modern world and romance sit together, or don’t they?
I’m married, between us we have five children and one grandchild, my home is described as having a revolving front door. Or like living on Waterloo Station, which, for anyone who doesn’t know, is a main train station in London. Would I change it? No, I love it. Family is everything to me.
So how do we fit romance into our lives? I get random texts during the day, when we are at work, saying, “I love you”. My husband will pop out for milk and return with a bunch of flowers as well. We are tactile people so there’s the touch of the hand, the kiss when we part company. When we are not in a position to touch there will be looks across the room, (I was so tempted to say across a crowded room).
The question is, do we need Valentines Day with its commercialism and pressure to make grand gestures. Where restaurant meals, in my experience, tend to be overpriced with extra tables crammed in. I sound quite cynical, but then maybe I am. For me love and romance isn’t about one day a year and no one should be judged on how they perform on that day. Love and romance is about all the little things that happen, and often taken for granted. When someone gives his or her heart and time to you, that is more precious then any amount of money spent on a gift or card. Let me know what romance means to you? I’m sure it’ll be different for all of us.
Francesca: I agree about the commercialism, Elaine. I like receiving a card and flowers on Valentine’s day, and love going out for a meal, but it has all been rather overhyped as the years have gone on.
Do we really need endless Valentine’s keyrings, mugs, cuddly toys, noticeboards, photo frames, figurines, notebooks, fluffy pens, lights, cookie cutters, tea towels, mittens, tote bags, measuring spoons, ice cream scoops and hot water bottles? These are just some of the items I’ve come across on sale this year for February 14th. I am ‘guilty’ of having some of these items myself, but at the same time get tired of seeing them rolled out every year even before the last of the yule log crumbs have been swept away.
Romance isn’t about what knick-knacks you buy someone.It’s a walk on the beach at sunset (corny but rather lovely anyway). It’s a glass of wine and a DVD, listening to your favourite music together by candlelight or a picnic in the country, stale sandwiches or otherwise. For me, romance is about being together.
Talking of favourite music, I didn’t know that my husband and I had an ‘Our Tune’ until a few years back when someone asked us. I was surprised to hear Andrew tell them it was Take Me I’m Yours by Squeeze. It was played a lot in our “courting” days (does anyone apart from our parents’ generation use that term anymore?) Normally it’s the men who are accused of not knowing such things!
So, do you have an ‘Our Tune’?